What to Talk About Before Planning Your Wedding: Key Conversations for Couples
Already had a quick chat about what kind of wedding you want?
This article takes you deeper — into the real-life questions that shape your whole planning experience.
Grab your snacks, pour a drink, and start here.
💬 Also read: Just Engaged? Here’s Exactly What to Do First When Planning a Wedding in Ireland
Budget: what can you comfortably spend?
This is the big one — and it’s better to talk about it early. Ask yourselves:
Do we have savings we want to use?
What can we realistically save between now and the wedding?
Might family contribute, and how would that work?
Ignore so-called “averages.” Your wedding should cost what feels right to you — not what the Internet says is ‘normal.’
💬 Related: How to Set a Realistic Wedding Budget in Ireland
💬 Related: What Your Wedding Budget Really Gets You in Ireland: €10K to €80K
📥 Download: Free Wedding Budget Checklist
How soon?
There’s no one-size-fits-all here.
You can plan a wedding in 6 months — or take 2 years and enjoy the ride. Talk about:
Do we want to get married before starting a family?
Are there kids in the picture, or other timing needs?
Is anyone’s health or availability a deciding factor?
Think about how much time you’ll need to save — and how fast you want to move.
Location: where makes sense?
Are you staying local — or are you open to travel? Ask yourselves:
Are there guests who can’t travel far (elderly, pregnant, etc.)?
What’s the access like — airports, taxis, accommodation?
Do we have emotional ties to any location?
Destination weddings aren't just about sunshine — they're about shared experience and ease.
Ceremony: legal, religious, or symbolic?
This will shape your venue and your celebrant, so think about what feels right:
Religious → if faith is meaningful or you've always pictured a church wedding
Civil → short, official, done
Symbolic → legally marry privately, then have a personal ceremony with someone close
You have options — choose what fits your values, not just the format you think you're “supposed” to have.
Date, season, and day of the week
You don’t need to set a date yet — but you do need a direction. Ask yourselves:
Are there meaningful dates (anniversaries, holidays, etc.)?
What season feels right — spring flowers, summer evenings, autumn colour, cosy winter with crackling fires and candlelight?
Will guests need school holidays or weekends?
Would we consider a weekday wedding (often cheaper + more flexible)?
💬 Related: How to Choose Your Wedding Date (When It’s Not Just Up to You)
Style: what vibe do you want?
Forget “themes.” Instead, ask: how do we want the day to feel?
Elegant and black tie → castles or manor houses
Relaxed and fun → country houses or exclusive hires
Laid-back and outdoorsy → barns, marquees, glamping
Urban and modern → city venues, walkable spots
Size: who are you really inviting?
You’ll do your full guest list later — but for now, get a ballpark:
Big enough to include loved ones?
Small enough to feel intimate?
What size works with the venues we’re considering?
Weddings of 80–160 guests often hit a great sweet spot.
💬 Related: Don’t Invite Them: Who Not to Put on Your Guest List
Priorities: what actually matters to you?
Skip the shoulds. Ask yourselves what you actually care about.
Is amazing food top of the list?
Are flowers essential or not a priority?
DJ, curated playlist, or live band?
Smaller guest list at a dream venue, or a bigger crowd at a flexible space?
Download: Wedding Priorities Worksheet – Free Download
Let this be the foundation
Everything else becomes easier after this.
You don’t need perfect answers — just clarity, honesty, and a shared direction.